How are you all doing? Christmas is just around the corner and that also means the end of the year is fast approaching. With that been said, I thought I would help give you a little motivation to make 2017 your year and to help ensure you take as many opportunities as possible, create amazing new memories and have some fantastic experiences.
The start of the New Year is always a chance to change and make things better for yourself. I won’t go into detail about my New Year’s resolutions in this post because I have another planned where they will be included so I will explain them in-depth in that post. I have however been inspired to write this post by a few of my friends. Recently a few of them have experienced relationship problems and gone through some terrible things and it has left them feeling really down and upset about things. They turned to me for advice and support and of course I was there for them because they’re my friends and I love them and to be honest I wish they would smile because I hate to see them hurting and so upset, it’s just not them. They are the nicest people. They’re so kind, loving and upbeat people so it’s been horrible seeing them go through what they have. None of them deserve it at all. Anyway, relationships and breakups affect people differently for different reasons, and I should know that because I have been through my fair share of bad situations with relationships which I think helped them because I genuinely understood them because I had been in their situation at one point or another.
“She said she could… so she did!”
This is my attitude going into the New Year and this is one I have tried to influence my friends with because I know what is like to be in their position. I know what is like to feel low and self-conscious and feel like you aren’t good enough for anyone or that you aren’t good enough to achieve your dreams.
The amount of power people can sometimes hold over you and make you feel a certain a way is horrible and it shouldn’t be like and it’s not like that but you must find the strength within yourself first.
I know how hard this. Whether it’s coming out of a relationship or being bullied or just having a hard time in life. In all situations, you feel everything is against you and nothing is going right.
When you come out of a relationship you are vulnerable. ‘Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but hoping they don’t.’ Your trust has just been broken and you have now lost someone you loved on depended on and obviously the damaged caused by relationships is all dependent on what went wrong. For me, relationships damaged me badly. My problem was I used to be naïve and trust people quite easy. I believed what they said and trust me, the first time when it all blew up I was devastated. I don’t remember hurting so much or feeling so angry, upset and confused about myself. It changed me so much. I was no longer the same trusting, loving little girl I use to be. I was a lot stronger and harder. I didn’t let people in anymore because I was afraid of being hurt again. I was afraid of someone treating that way and making me feel worthless and insecure that I was not prepared to put myself through it again. I didn’t want to be hurt and I certainly no longer believed in happy endings. Love definitely wasn’t the romances in films!
For a time, this stopped me from doing lots of things because I feared meeting people and forming friendships because I was scared of getting hurt and them walking away or becoming disinterested in me. I missed out on so many opportunities. Thankfully, after time I did begin to trust again and allow me self to open up to others. However, I by no means the same as I was. When I was younger it was my dream to get, married and have my dad walk me down the aisle but now I am quite cynical the whole idea of marriage and commitment quite honestly terrifies me but that’s not going to be some years yet anyway so need to worry about that.
The point to this is that time to does heel things and if you are confident within yourself then people don’t have the power to destroy you. I am content enough with myself that nobody else depicts my happiness or my opportunities or what can/ going to do with my life. Going through the experience as horrible as it was and no matter how hard it was and much I cried and hated myself has made me stronger today and I now realise it is me in control of my happiness and me who makes the decisions and nobody else otherwise I would forever be living someone else’s life. That’s why every day should be a great day and full opportunity and experiences. No matter what experiences you have, what pain you have felt, it has all happened for a reason and taught you something. I now know that I wake up every morning with a choice: I can choose to be happy or I let everyone else depict my happiness for me and I know which one makes sense.
This sense of self-worth and insecurity comes from all walks in life. I know the damage bullying causes to your self-esteem but that’s a whole new story. However, if you do want more advice and help on what I have just spoke about or about my bullying as a child and how I overcame that then feel free to ask and I will be more than happy to help because another thing I have learned is that speaking about your problems helps. It really does. Don’t ever feel like you’re the only one going through those problems or experiencing those issues because chances are other people are in the same position as you are and it’s okay to have a bad day and not be okay these things happen but what I am saying is no matter what has happened this year (good/bad) don’t let that predict the next year to come and the years after that. Look forward to the start of 2017 as a new chapter in your life. A place to start new ideas and new innovations. Grow and develop as person. Take risks and opportunities. Take chances and just live the life you want. Don’t let anyone else tell you can’t do something because quite often they say that because they are jealous or can’t do it themselves. If your New Year’s resolution is to lose weight don’t let anyone discourage you and stick at because that’s one of mine, so we can do it together. Find that support system and don’t be afraid to depend on them and let them help and support you. If you want to travel, take steps towards that. If you want to better your grades, find out what you can do. Whatever it is that you want to this forthcoming year make sure you do it and be happy! Don’t have regrets and live in the moment because you never know what is just around the corner. We are very blessed and lucky people and often through hard times, bad situations, or mixing with the wrong people we forget that an forget to appreciate our worth and purpose because we all belong here for a reason and we have something different to say and some different talents to offer. Be you and be happy with who you are!
That’s the message I have been trying to get through my friends whilst they are in their dark moments and I think it has really helped me. At the start of this Year after a very rough end to the previous year, I changed mindset to this way and although I have had a few bumps along the way, 2016 has been a fantastic year and has brought me many fantastic memories, experiences and people who I am forever thankful for and it’s all because I had courage to believe in my own ability and strength. Don’t get me wrong, every day I am still learning and developing in confidence and learning to love myself more and be happy but I now know what power I have over myself and my life and it’s nice to know the difference it has made. Therefore, I look forward to a great 2017 full of many great opportunities, experience and memories. A positive mindset, a little courage and belief goes a long way. If you don’t believe in yourself and love yourself then who will? You are special and you are good enough. Believe me, having a little confidence within yourself and knowing you are fine by yourself and you don’t need anybody else will open up whole new world or opportunities. For me it meant this year I could finally start thing blog like I had always to, I could go travelling and experience new cultures and places, it meant I could move away to uni and find my own independence and freedom and meet some of the most amazing people. Just please find the strength to have a little belief in yourself to say yes! You owe yourself the best life possible and you deserve to be happy and doing what you love.
I hope you all have great success with the forthcoming year and with your New Year’s resolution or just for making a great life for yourself. I am excited for 2017 and to start the new chapter in my life. I have no doubt that it will be great and I am sure will have a fantastic year full of new experiences, good and bad, with lots more memories and experiences. Life is a climb and just don’t forget to enjoy and make the most of every moment. I love you all lots!