How are you doing? Today I have a bit of different post and I just wanted a chat with you all.
Lots has been going on in my life recently and I think it is very easy for people just to see the positive side and not thinking you have things going on because you continue with day to day life as normal and always appear happy. For me, I am a very private person and so I find it hard to talk about things when they aren’t going so well. I am a very guarded person and much rather put on a happy front than let people know.
No one really understands what anyone is going through and sometimes I really do feel people judge others by what they see and not actually knowing what they are going through. People like to tell me I have nothing moan about and my life is brilliant and if you know me then I can definitely see why people would say that. It’s just that I am a quiet person and I don’t like to display what’s happening and being sad. Part of the way I chose to deal with things is to put on a front, distract myself and be happy and have a laugh otherwise I will definitely overthink everything and that just doesn’t help the situation.
This summer has definitely been full of changes for me and I don’t really know how to feel about a lot of them. A lot of stuff has built up and I just don’t know what to feel and I guess sort of confused about things. Very soon, in September, I head off to university and moving away and that is super scary for me. I’ve not even thought about buying anything for my room or what to take. This year I finally finished compulsory education and it seems so weird knowing that I won’t be going back to the place where I have just spent he last 7 years of my life. I have to make this big life changing step without my family and their support, so I am very thankful that my friends and boyfriend are with me and supporting me through it.
I started my blog this summer and that has definitely been one of the best decisions I have made. It has just been so nice to be able to write an express myself freely and have people read, like and comment such lovely things. I have always been creative and passionate and I do really enjoy blogging daily and chatting to you all about anything and everything. I have also opened my own clothing collection and that was super exciting and I love designing new items which I am inspired by. I started my YouTube channel which is something I wanted to do for so long but I am not sure about it anymore. I want to continue because I enjoy making content and filming and editing… it’s really fun and I love taking photographs but I just have been thinking about changing the idea behind it and not restricting myself to just one type of video. I think I want to create a good mixture. I really want to start vlogging. Maybe not to upload to my channel everyday because I don’t know how many of you would be interested in my daily life but for a diary for me and memories especially since I have some big times coming up soon like moving to uni, a little holiday with my friends, a trip to London with my boyfriend. I think I just want to make vlogs to keep as a memory for myself.
Speaking of holidays I am so excited to be going away soon and having some breaks away from everything and taking my mind off everything. I am really excited for both of them and they are both so soon. I think it will be nice to get away from the daily struggles I am facing and just enjoy myself.
I don’t know how I really feel about everything. It’s just so much happening a lot more personal stuff which I don’t feel comfortable explaining. It’s just sometimes a lot to deal with and hard to keep putting on a front and pretending like everything is okay when it’s really not.
I am really just taking things day by day and seeing what it brings. Some days I manage to have really good days and a good laugh ad a good times other days just don’t go so well and today is one of those days. I know eventually everything will turn out okay. It may not be tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year but eventually everything will work out so I am just staying positive and just know that I am lucky to be surrounded by lovely friends and a lovely boyfriend and these things happen in life and it’s all about learning and growing from the experiences.
Sorry for the super long post where I have just rambled. I just felt like I needed to get a few things off my chest and I find sometimes I do find I feel better after that. Thank you so much for reading and I will see you soon!